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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22409317">His Prayer</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/bestGuesses/pseuds/bestGuesses'>bestGuesses</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Blow Jobs, Bottom Dean Winchester, Canon Compliant, Car Sex, Castiel and Dean Winchester in Love, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Coming Out, Episode: s15e09 The Trap, Episode: s15e09 The Trap - Dean Winchester's Prayer Scene, How Do I Tag, I hope, Kinda, Love Confessions, M/M, Road Head, Smut, Top Castiel (Supernatural), Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, does this count as a fix it fic, idk its set like that though, we're practicing very unsafe driving in this fic, you read that right</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-01-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-01-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 03:13:23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,815</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22409317</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/bestGuesses/pseuds/bestGuesses</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean's sick of stalling.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel/Dean Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>284</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>His Prayer</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this is kind of.. loosely a rewrite of my first fic, Backseat, so i hope there's been some improvement since then<br/>thank you leangreencastielmachine for betaing ily</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Dean stalls.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean stalls because it’s the only thing he knows to do and he’s absolutely </span>
  <em>
    <span>terrified</span>
  </em>
  <span>. The fear is disorienting, and for once, it’s not over someone he loves’ life. It’s over something that should be minuscule, about a </span>
  <em>
    <span>fact</span>
  </em>
  <span> about himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Dean is bi.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s known he’s been bi for years.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean isn’t stupid, as much as he likes to play himself to seem so. He knows that he stares at Cas longer than he should and that his constant fantasies over Dr. Sexy are not just a heterosexual exception.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean likes men.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’d been able to hide it </span>
  <em>
    <span>so</span>
  </em>
  <span> well for </span>
  <em>
    <span>so</span>
  </em>
  <span> long, or…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’d been able to deny it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There were countless comments from friends and family about how Dean had the tendency to stare at guys passing by too long, or how naturally he’d been able to flirt with men on the few cases that called for it. Or his time with Cas.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean couldn’t help it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Imagine having a super hot badass angel of a best friend who’d give his life for you</span>
  <span>- who </span>
  <em>
    <span>had</span>
  </em>
  <span> given his life for you multiple times.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean was pretty sure it was physically impossible </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> to develop feelings for someone like that. Sure, life had been a real bitch lately. Finding out that God was their enemy all along, that his best friend’s son had killed his mom, that his best friend’s son had died.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He lashed out more than he’d ever care to admit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was stupid, he couldn’t blame Cas for defending his child. For trying to deal with the situation himself. Communication had never been a Winchester virtue, after all. So Dean did what he always did when the bottling up became too much, he lashed out. Rather than letting the cork pop off of the bottle, though, there were cracks. Small fissures in Dean’s big metaphorical bottle that sprayed out his anger at anyone unlucky enough to make a minor mistake around him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas ended up at the receiving end of that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean leaned against that table, watched as Cas stood there. Cas finally put that all-too-obvious rift between them into words. But he was angry, and there was no way in hell that Dean Winchester could get over his pride and apologize. So he said all of the wrong things. Watched as Cas stood there, as he </span>
  <em>
    <span>waited</span>
  </em>
  <span>. There was a silent plea in his eyes, one Dean would have to be blind to miss.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A plea to give him a reason to stay.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean let him walk out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He regretted every second of it. When Cas came back, it was a blessing and a curse. Dean was glad to have Cas back, ecstatic, even. But he was still cracking, and he kept his pointless bickering up with Cas.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And then came Purgatory.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Purgatory brought on a new feeling between them that Dean had completely missed. The way that </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything</span>
  </em>
  <span>, his desperation, his guilt, his </span>
  <em>
    <span>love</span>
  </em>
  <span>. It was like every emotion he had was put on full fucking blast for anyone to see. When he got knocked out, woke up heartbreakingly </span>
  <em>
    <span>alone</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he couldn’t handle it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Remembering how Cas had held onto his hand so tightly as Dean was pulled through the rift. His goodbye. Dean didn’t understand why they’d held hands until Castiel was letting go. He didn’t think he’d ever have the chance to again. He’d spent so much time looking for Cas, desperately searching to bring him back, and losing him like that?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean knew he had to end it. He wasn’t going to lose Cas on that note.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So he crouched by a tree, fell to his knees and let it out. The bottle burst, and he finally </span>
  <em>
    <span>apologized</span>
  </em>
  <span>. It was raw and hard as hell to bring into words, and Dean had never felt an “I love you” so precariously close to spilling out. Hell, he wasn’t even sure he didn’t slip one in there. Hugging Cas after that was something new entirely. Desperation, sure, but not the type he was used to. Not the type of tearing clothes off in a dimly lit bedroom, or clawing for his life in some nameless and faceless kidnapper’s grip.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had fallen </span>
  <em>
    <span>hard</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That was where the catch was, though. Dean knew he was head over heels, writing shitty song lyrics in a pink bedazzled notebook in love. What he didn’t realize, however, was that he wasn’t alone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas loved him back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean hadn’t believed it for years. He couldn’t. A literal </span>
  <em>
    <span>angel</span>
  </em>
  <span>, wings and halo and grace, could not fall for him. There was no way in hell an angel could fall for Dean Winchester. But there was something there. Maybe the way Cas fell into his arms like they were meant to be like that, holding onto each other. Maybe the ragged, utterly </span>
  <em>
    <span>relieved</span>
  </em>
  <span> breaths shared between them. Maybe the way Cas understood him so thoroughly, the way he knew that Dean was terrified but ready to spill his heart out again because it </span>
  <em>
    <span>needed</span>
  </em>
  <span> to be said. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Or maybe because he knew that Dean loved him too.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean knew he wasn’t stupid, but he also knew that Cas wasn’t stupid. Was he naive sometimes? Sure. But it didn’t take a brain surgeon to realize that Dean had confessed to Cas, said it clear as day without saying the words.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I love you.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That’s where Dean’s next step had to come in.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He couldn’t risk losing Castiel again. Not with that mutual understanding. Sure, Chuck was only temporarily out of the picture and yeah, they were still hunters that could die at any given second, but… </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They’d lost each other too many times without saying it. It was the end of the fucking world, and Dean wouldn’t- </span>
  <em>
    <span>couldn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> go down without making sure that Castiel knew Dean was absolutely and utterly in love with him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Maybe if Dean wasn’t recovering from that bombshell of a realization, he’d organize something. Maybe a romantic dinner, or a walk at the park, or… anything. Instead, he’d decided to take Sam on a drive. He’d asked Cas for some alone time between them, and Cas seemed to get the message that something was happening that he’d be updated on in a moment. Dean turned his key in the ignition, ignoring his shaking hands and sweaty palms as the low hum of the Impala’s engine started up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You good?” Sam asked when he saw Dean’s reluctance. Dean normally looked so relaxed in the Impala, and he’d been so clearly thrown entirely off his axis that he couldn't even pretend to be calm.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah! Yeah- I’m awesome,” he attempted a smile that looked more forced than anything. Sam didn’t press further, he knew Dean would explain in a moment. They drove away from the bunker to nowhere in particular.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why did you bring me out here? Are you and Cas still arguing? You two just apologized, please say you’re not-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No! God no- I just got him back, there’s no damn way I’m gonna piss him off again-” Dean quickly responded. He paused momentarily, realizing that what he said was a little beyond the acceptable no homo line before remembering that the entire intent of the car ride was to not have an acceptable no homo line anymore.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good,” Sam said, looking at Dean for a moment. He took on the gaze he always used whenever he was deeply analyzing Dean, reading him like a book. For once in Sam’s life, he couldn’t catch on to what the hell was fucking Dean up so badly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you thinking about how to beat Chuck..?” Sam attempted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This doesn’t have to do with Chuck, Sam,” Dean sighed, “I… it’s about me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sam looked at Dean for another long moment, once again not finding anything.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s up, Dean?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I.. I’m b-” Dean began before his brain immediately tried to back out, “I’m- I’ve been meani- wait.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dean, you... I don’t know what you’re trying to say.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Neither do I, bear with me here,” Dean thought for a moment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe just… say it and don’t think about what you’re saying?” he offered. Dean nodded.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, that could work,” he cleared his throat, “It’s.. uh…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Say it right now,” Sam said quickly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean’s brain short-circuited for a moment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m bi and in love with Cas,” Dean blurted out before pausing, “Oh, shit.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sam’s eyes widened a bit as Dean’s face heated up. Dean was about to try and explain it all away before Sam chuckled incredulously.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You.. you actually said it. I- Dean-” Sam laughed lightly, almost like he was afraid of pissing Dean off. Still, his relief soaked through in his tone, “It’s… I’ve been betting on this for fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>years</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I- when are you gonna tell him?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean decided there was too much in that statement to unpack at once, and decided to just go with the most straightforward route.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“After I drop you back off. I just- I needed to get your reaction first.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dean, I’ve watched you two mentally undress each other for the last decade. I’ll gladly clear out for a month if that’s what it takes for you two to make up for all of that… </span>
  <em>
    <span>tension</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he said, “Oh god, that’s not a good mental image.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean pondered on said mental image.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sammy, that’s the best mental image currently imaginable. Add Dr. Sexy to that-” Dean grinned.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“In-person or playing on the TV in the background?” Sam asked nervously.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” Dean answered as Sam groaned. Dean had to admit, it felt unbelievably refreshing to actually be out to someone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I hate that,” Sam grumbled, although he was laughing along with him. Dean smiled, driving them back. Their conversation was lighthearted, and Dean had to admit that he was in a much better mood right up until he saw Cas. That was when the big ball of emotion, decided to rear its head. Dean was still deciphering if said head was ugly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hello, Dean,” Cas greeted, looking between he and Sam curiously, “You seem to be feeling better.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Dean nodded, “It’s.. can we talk? Preferably now?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas looked slightly perturbed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> “Of course. In the car?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I.. yeah,” Dean responded. He led Cas to the Impala, got back in (gas meter be damned), and drove. He took a different route to nowhere, and neither of them made an effort to start the conversation for a long while. When the tension became unbearably uncomfortable,  Dean took a deep breath.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think you know why we’re here,” Dean began. His mouth was a bit dry and his hands were trembling again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m guessing this has something to do with your prayer to me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean smiled weakly, “Guilty as charged. Uh… alright, Sam put a lot more pressure on me than you are so this is gonna be hard to say.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas did the exact same analyzing thing that Sam did to him. The difference was, Dean saw dim understanding flash across his features. Unsure, maybe even a bit surprised, but it was there. Dean searched for words for a few moments before he mentally reminded himself of what Sam had told him to do earlier.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean somehow managed to mix up the instructions in his brain.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>One second, he was about to finally say it. The next, he was grabbing Cas by his tie and pulling him in, kissing him for the first time in… well, ever. Once more, it took Dean a few seconds to get with the program, pulling away as quickly as he could. He stared at Cas for a long moment as the gears finally twisted into place and the apologies started spewing out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh fuck I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to I should’ve asked-” he began before he was cut off. Cas had a hand curled in his hair, the other resting on Dean’s side as he kissed him. It felt like the tipping point- like 10 years worth of pure chemistry that had been teetering cartoonishly on the peak of a mountain was finally sliding down, tumbling into one big landslide. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’d gotten past the hardest part. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The next thing he felt was that it was extremely difficult to express a decade’s worth of desperation and need while making out </span>
  <em>
    <span>and</span>
  </em>
  <span> driving. He only pulled away when the blaring of another car’s horn snapped him out of his thoughts and reminded him that dying at that moment would be incredibly unsexy of him. They were both panting, Cas keeping his hand on Dean’s side.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Back to the bunker. Now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean normally would’ve made some sassy remark in response, but his mind was already working overtime without any sort of pay and he really needed Castiel on him yesterday. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If there was one thing his brain could decipher, it was that Cas </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> wanted to sleep with him, and that feeling was beyond mutual.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean then learned that it was very difficult to focus with an angel nearly vibrating from whatever shared emotion was in that car. It was a strange mix of excitement and relief and that same strange purgatory esque desperation, but adding the ripping clothes off factor.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean had seen Cas naked approximately once, not counting the bees he was covered in. Also sans the bees, he may have saved the image for a few times when he had a hand shoved down his pants and no laptop available. Castiel, on the other hand, had literally </span>
  <em>
    <span>rebuilt</span>
  </em>
  <span> Dean from scratch. Dean would be lying if he said that the prospect of Cas knowing every last small detail about what made him tick was undeniably hot as hell. They were breathing hard and Dean broke a few basic road safety laws as Cas stared at Dean with some sort of nearly unnerving intensity. Then Cas moved closer, placing a light hand on Dean’s thigh. Dean barely stopped himself from jerking violently, feeling the adrenaline thrumming through his veins. He was simultaneously hyper focused and completely zoning out, trying to remember to stay in his damn lane.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dean,” Cas breathed. Dean’s breath hitched as Cas moved his hand up Dean’s thigh, nosing at his neck before sucking a dark bruise there. His hand moved to the side of Dean’s jeans, slowly pulling the fly down. Dean kept his mind on the road to the best of his ability.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He deserved a damn medal for not crashing them into a tree and killing them both.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas undid the button of Dean’s pants, letting his fingertips linger on Dean’s navel before trailing down. Dean couldn’t help the sharp intake of breath as Cas started palming him through his underwear, moving from his initial spot on Dean’s neck to one right at the base of his jaw.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cas-” Dean began, his voice wavering, “I- I need to fo- </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span>- focus on the road.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We won’t crash,” Cas hummed, and Dean decided that was good enough of an answer. He gripped the leather of the Impala’s steering wheel, his knuckles going white from how much force he was using. There was so much damn </span>
  <em>
    <span>energy</span>
  </em>
  <span> and the only way Dean could deal with it was by crushing the wheel or crashing. Cas, however, was working faster than before. He slid his hand right under the waistband of Dean’s underwear, creating a dent where Cas’ hand came into contact with him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span>- Cas-” Dean was hardly coherent. They were still a good five minutes from the bunker and Dean was already painfully hard. Judging by Cas’ ragged breathing and the rhythmic slide of fabric against leather, he was probably feeling about the same. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean stole a glance at a red light.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas had moved so he was almost pressed against the back of the seat. Dean couldn’t exactly see his face, but he could vaguely see the motion of Cas desperately trying to get friction from the dark leather, still fully clothed. His right hand was wrapped around Dean’s cock, slowly working him over. Dean had no clue where the hell his left hand went, but he assumed Cas knew what he was doing. Cas’ hand was dry and there was a small twinge of discomfort, but Dean couldn’t find it in himself to care when Cas was gasping against his neck.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Had Dean been in a normal state of mind, he’d pull over like a functioning human being and deal with cleaning the Impala afterward. However, Dean was not in a normal state of mind, nor was he a functioning human being, so he kept driving. There were around 3 minutes left on the ride when he felt Cas’s entire body moving lower. His hand stayed still, but he managed to get on his stomach with his legs awkwardly crammed against the door. Dean was sure that his position was uncomfortable, but Cas didn’t seem to give a single shit. He pulled Dean’s cock out of his boxers, keeping his hand wrapped around him. Dean inhaled sharply at the cold air hitting newly exposed skin, bucking his hips up a bit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t worry about crashing,” Cas breathed, “Just drive,” was all the warning Dean got before there were lips wrapped around him. Dean’s jaw went a bit slack as he momentarily forgot that he was supposed to be driving. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Or breathing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He focused on the road and getting oxygen through his body to the best of his ability as Cas lowered his mouth. Cas took as much of Dean as he could before pulling off, coughing a bit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cas- please don’t choke yourself-” Dean couldn’t help but give a breathy laugh. Cas hummed from beside him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I wasn’t ready,” he stated before taking Dean into his mouth once more. Cas relaxed, deepthroating and Dean nearly sobbed then and there. They were almost at the bunker and Dean was certain he wouldn’t last. Cas pulled back up, licking a stripe over the side and tracing a vein with his tongue. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean was losing his mind.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had no clue where the hell Cas had learned to suck dick, or how he’d managed to last so long, but he could feel the familiar buildup in his stomach as Cas dipped his tongue over the slit. He swirled his tongue around the head and Dean bit his lip to stop himself from crying out, letting out a strangled moan. Cas pulled off with a pop, glancing out the window. He could see the bunker, so he got Dean decent. Dean was experiencing far too many emotions for his mind to handle at that moment, and he really doubted he could make it to his bedroom. Or anyone’s bedroom, for that matter. He parked crooked and threw his seatbelt off, rushing out of the car. Cas did the same, and Dean was about to suggest they go to the bedroom when Cas pushed him onto the hood of the Impala.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please- fuck me-” Dean’s voice shook. Cas didn’t respond verbally, leaning over Dean’s body and claiming him in a hard kiss. He settled between Dean’s awkwardly spread legs, a tan forearm resting just beside Dean’s head and propping him up. Dean clutched onto Cas, shoving his coats off of his shoulders and holding him close by his tie (who the hell allowed him to wear so many layers?). Cas then worked on getting Dean’s pants off once more, tossing Dean’s shoes to the side and yanking his pants off.  Cas ran his fingers over the backs of Dean’s thighs, leaving a trail that tickled slightly. Dean squirmed at the sensation, hooking his ankles behind Cas’ back. His underwear was a bit damp in some areas from Cas’ spit and it was uncomfortable as hell, but so goddamn worth it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We should’ve done this years ago,” Cas breathed, marveling at the sight in front of him. Dean laying on the Impala, legs spread and lips spit slick, both spread in a plea for Cas to just hurry up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And so he did.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas rested his free hand on Dean’s stomach, his eyes glowing their usual angelic blue. There was a moment when Dean looked uncomfortable before relaxing once more.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What was that?” he asked, looking down at himself with furrowed brows.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Making sure you’re clean and prepped,” Cas answered, moving his hand down and digging his fingers under the waistband of Dean’s boxers. He pulled them down as Dean lifted his hips to help him out, his skin flushed and covered in beads of sweat. Cas’ gaze immediately trailed to his cock, taking it in his hand and ignoring the desperate twitch Dean gave for more. He thumbed right under the head, and Dean saw Cas’ eyes glow once more before a slick finger was pressing at his hole. Dean tensed for a moment before forcing himself to relax, knowing that Cas would take good care of him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I- I thought I was already prepped-” he panted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’d like to make sure. Better safe than sorry,” Cas responded simply, and then he was pushing a thick finger into Dean. Dean let out an embarrassing noise that left him with heated cheeks, looking to the side so he wouldn’t have to look Cas in the eyes. Cas laughed, leaving his finger where it was.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s unfamiliar, isn’t it?” Cas mused, “I’m guessing you haven’t done this before?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean gave a small chuckle in response, “Not since I was about… 20.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, I look forward to refreshing your memory,” Cas said, slowly fucking Dean with his finger. Dean hissed for a moment as Cas slowed even more. He forced himself to relax more, and soon enough, he was pressing his ass back against Cas’ knuckles. Cas pulled his finger out, slowly working on his own fly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cas, I swear to god if you don’t hurry-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Patience,” Cas responded simply. He pulled his slacks down to around the middle of his thighs. Dean tried to sit up to watch him, but Cas shoved him back with a firm hand to his chest. Dean huffed as he watched Cas carefully, and then there was something blunt pushing at his rim. Dean’s breath hitched as Cas looked at him, and he swore that it was </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> the time for some cheesy chick flick shit, but there were only so many feelings he could suppress. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas stared at him with such </span>
  <em>
    <span>reverence</span>
  </em>
  <span>, like he.was the only thing that mattered in the world. When he pushed in, he visibly tensed for a moment, right as the head of his cock pushed in. Dean made an annoyed noise.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s the holdup?” Dean asked as casually as he could, but he was certain he was going to die if Cas didn’t hurry. Dean did not intend on dying with a dick in his ass, although he figured it wouldn’t be the worst way to go out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’d always said he’d go out with a bang.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I- I won’t last much longer unless I stop,” Cas gave an almost shy smile. Dean looked at him for a moment, realizing that </span>
  <em>
    <span>he</span>
  </em>
  <span> was the one who pulled Cas so close to the edge without doing a thing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And he definitely wanted to do things to Cas. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Before he could react, Dean remembered that he had his legs wrapped around Cas. He tightened his grip, forcing Cas’ hips forward., Dean felt like he was being split in half in the best way possible, which he didn’t even realize was a possibility. Still, it burned enough that all he could do was grind his hips. When Dean looked up, Cas was giving him that look again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cas, buddy, you gotta give me some warning before you do... </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he laughed lightly, although he knew damn well what that look meant.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“First of all, my penis is currently entirely inside of you,” Cas said, grinning a tiny bit when Dean groaned at his use of the word ‘penis’, “We’re past the buddy zone.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think I’ve gathered that,” Dean responded. Cas smiled a bit wider, a small twinkle in his gaze.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Second of all, I’m waiting for you to say it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean shot him a look.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cas, you’re balls deep up my ass right now. I don’t think it needs to be said,” Dean stated. Cas raised a brow, shifting his hips and watching Dean choke momentarily.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let’s try that again,” Cas said, “I’m waiting for you to say it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean grinned.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s… that’s your cue to say it,” Cas added.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If I don’t say it, will you do that again?” Dean smirked. Cas looked Dean right in the eyes, pulling all the way out. Dean’s toes curled and then there was nothing, and that was possibly one of the most disappointing things Dean had ever experienced.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Say it or I’ll go inside,” Cas warned.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You won’t be able to handle going inside,” Dean retorted, a smirk twisting his lips. Cas pondered for a moment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alright. Say it or I’ll stand here and finish myself off and make you watch.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You wouldn’t,” Dean narrowed his eyes. When Dean woke up that morning, the last thing he’d expected to do was to debate saying I love you mid sex while he was half naked on the hood of his car, but he wasn’t complaining. Cas knew Dean loved him, and Dean knew Cas loved him. Dean also took a certain amount of selfish pleasure from annoying Cas, and he wasn’t going to miss out on the chance.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I would,” Cas said, wrapping a hand around himself. Dean got a good look. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He definitely wanted that up his ass again, but the sight was already fucking perfect. Dean still knew what he’d end up choosing, although he saved the idea for a later time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Castiel,” Dean said, more of a statement than anything.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dean,” Cas repeated, light humor in his tone. Dean looked at him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He faltered. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas caught on, leaning over him and catching him in a feather light kiss.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have to say it, I.. I know you’re stalling. We can continue without you saying it, Dean,” Cas reassured him. Dean shook his head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ve been stalling for 10 years, Cas. I’m…” he took a deep breath before meeting Cas’ eyes, and it all felt so natural.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m in love with you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The change was immediate.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas lit up, a new gleam in his eyes and a wide smile on his face. He kissed Dean again, using one hand to cup his cheek. Dean felt so light, so fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>free</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and Castiel was </span>
  <em>
    <span>his.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I love you too,” Cas said before pushing back in. Dean wasn’t expecting it, and neither was his dick. The whole ordeal may have lowered the arousal for a moment in favor of all those fluffy feel good hormones, but that quickly changed when Cas started fucking him. It was slow and deep, and Dean already swore that it couldn’t get better.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then Cas sped up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He panted hard, and Dean knew that his stamina was going to seem pathetic. Then again, he figured that one of the side effects of 11 years of wanting your best friend to screw you until you passed out could very well be not being able to handle it when said scenario actually happened. And given how Cas could barely handle pushing it in at first, he had a suspicion that he wasn’t alone. Cas’ thrusts were desperate, his eyebrows furrowed and lips parted as a string of curses fell from him. Some were in English, and some were in what Dean assumed to be Enochian. Dean was in a similar debauched state, bucking his hips to meet Cas’ thrusts and drive him deeper. He was already </span>
  <em>
    <span>so</span>
  </em>
  <span> close to the edge, and it was clear that Cas wasn’t far behind.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I love you-” Dean choked out. Cas nodded, and Dean repeated it. Cas couldn’t help but smile, angling his thrust a little further to the right. It just so happened that he’d managed to hit Dean’s prostate spot on, and that was all it took before Dean was crying Cas’ name out. Cas lasted another two sloppy thrusts before practically folding Dean in half to kiss him. Dean didn’t seem to mind, he was still wobbly and light from his climax. When Cas pulled out, he pulled Dean upright so he could stand. Dean smiled wide.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My legs are jelly.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can see that,” Cas saw his thighs trembling, “Do you want me to clean you up?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean nodded. All it took was Cas snapping his fingers for Dean and himself to be clean and clothed, although Dean was still high off the endorphins. Cas pulled him in for a kiss, curling a hand in his hair.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I love you, Dean Winchester.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean decided that hey, he’d been stalling enough that decade and he was on a roll.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>One more batshit decision couldn’t hurt.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’re gonna have to give you my last name.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>comments and kudos are greatly appreciated!<br/>follow me on <a href="https://twitter.com/keepme_guessing">twitter!</a> feel free to dm me whenever!<br/>thanks for reading :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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